


What David Said.

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "What Sarah Said", Abusive Relationships, Alcohol, Alcoholic Roxy, Anal Sex, Anorexia, Anxiety, Asshole Jake, Based on a DCFC song, Bulimia, Cannabis, Cocaine, Cutting, Death, Depressed dave, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Heroin, Humanstuck, John's a little shit and doesnt tell dirk whats going on, M/M, Marijuana, Porn With Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rapist Jake, Sadstuck, Self Harm, Sub Dave, Substance Abuse, Twin Striders, Vomiting, bulimic!Dave, dave and alpha dave are two people, depressed dirk, dirk and bro are two people, illegal drug use, major drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:53:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3669720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Strider family had always had a major history of depression, Dirk happened to start a new page in that book by suffering 8 long years of Anorexia Nervosa. Dave picks up the 'diet' from his brother but turns out WAY worse than Dirk, developing Bulimia Nervosa. On the other hand John knows EXACTLY what is going on with Dave but wont tell Dirk or the twins brothers. Karkat is just as depressed and going through an abusive relationship which drives him crazy. Jake's a crazy asshole that uses Dave at his most vulnerable point to fuel his sex addiction. Roxy cant stop drinking so Rose sends her to rehab. Bro's a heroin addict and D cant kick his horrible drinking habits.  John's got his own addictions that he's hiding from everyone and Dave cant stop cutting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anorexia Nervosa and Heroin

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> This isn't my first fic and its not my last but it is however my first sadstuck fic and my first post on here completely. this whole fic SCREAMS sadstuck, and im sorry. i wanted to share a few of my sadstuck headcannons but DONT WORRY, MORE IS COMING SOON. Happier things. Sexier things. welp, enjoy!!

Suffering from something isn't easy. Just ask Dirk Strider, He'll tell you how hard it is. 

Dirk sighed, running a hand through his hair only to come back with a handful of golden blonde hair. He really needed to tell someone about that. "damn it.." he said, shooking his hand off, watching the hair fall to the floor. His computer chimed and he opened pesterchum. 

 

\--golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 0:01--

GT: Hey, howre you doing?

TT: I'm fine.. my hair's fallin' out again.

GT: Thats horrible!! Dirk you have to tell your brothers!! Its been like 4 years since i left, do you need me to come back??

TT: I don't wanna tell them! 

GT:...

GT:Ill book a plane ticket and Ill be there in about three days..no arguing..

\--golothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timeasTestified [TT] at 0:04

 

 Dirk sighed, running a hand through his hair again, shaking off the hair that followed through with it. He looked over at his twin's bed, jealously running through him. Dave was much thinner with nice milky pale skin. Dirk thought he was heavy, he had darker skin and darker hair than the other and he hated it. Dirk could see the drastic weight loss he was having but that came with not eating. He sighed again, closing his laptop and placing it on the floor. He'd rather sleep than think about weight right now. 

 

He woke a few hours later to the sound of heaving in the bathroom. He thought nothing of it, probably food poisoning on Bro's part. Dirk rolled over and streatched a bit. The sun wasn't up quite yet but it was somewhat brighter outside. He glanced at his alarm clock, the numbers '6:30' blinking brightly in green at him. The bedroom door opened and Dave walked in. He looked weak as he shuffled towards his bed. "Morning bro.." Dirk said as he sat up and stretched. Dave jumped slightly from the sudden voice on the other side of the room. "y-yeah morning..almost time for school??" Dirk nodded and stood, just as weak as Dave. "yeah, get dressed and fix yourself something to eat..I'll drive today.." Dave nodded. "You should take your advice and get some food.." Dirk rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. 'Gaining weight hurts more than hunger pains' he thought, entering the kitchen. He looked around, noticing the coffee tin on the counter. A sudden, deep, sleepy voice with a southern drawl made him jump. "Ya gonna make coffee again for breakfast..?" Bro sighed as Dirk turned to face him. "yer gettin' thin...and I never see ya eat anymore..have some real food with nutrients fer once.." Dirk rolled his eyes again. "I do eat thank you very much.." Bro scoffed. "barely...don't be goin'...whats it called...ah ferget it, just eat somethin' fer me.." Dirk swallowed hard, pushing past Bro to walk back to his shared room. "yeah..whatever". Dave was back in bed, asleep. Dirk figured his stomach had to hurt from whatever made him throw up earlier so he made no note of it. He figured Dave wanted to stay home. It was Friday after all and missing one day of school wouldn't hurt anyone. Dirk poked his head back out of the room, watching a few strands of his hair flutter down to the floor like feathers coming off of a bird. "Hey bro?" The elder looked up from where he stood in the kitchen. "hmm?" Dirk swallowed hard again. "Dave's got food poisoning from your shitty attempts at cooking and I don't wanna go to school...can we stay home..?" Bro sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Whatever jus' dont bother me" Dirk nodded and slipped back into his room, shutting the door tightly behind him. He decided he needed some more sleep, taking the fact he hadn't gotten much. 

 

"Whatever jus' dont bother me" Bro said, watching as Dirk nodded and slipped back into the dark room. He sighed finally getting the one moment in the day that he enjoyed. He'd been shooting up heroin now for a good 9 years. "finally..." he said to nothing as he opened a drawer. The drawer was home to a few clean needles and a few bottles containing a rosey gray liquid. He retrieved one of the bottles and one of the needles, heading towards the futon. There he sat, prepping the needle and with the liquid. Bro tapped the shaft of the needle, knocking out any air bubbles. He reached a shaky arm out an looked for a vein. Finding one in his arm wasn't hard from all the track lines the drug left. He took a deep, sharp breath and pushed the needle into his vein. Letting out the air he drew in as he injected the smack into his blood stream helped the slight sting it gave. he tossed the needle onto the table after capping it. The slight rustle in another room caught his attention and he looked up as his older brother emerged from his room. "Derrick...Why are you up and where are the twins..?" Bro didn't say anything, he simply looked down at the bottle on the coffee table then back up at D. "What are you doing..?" Bro laughed a bit. "Skag..." D's eyes widened. "And the twins..?" Bro looked over at the door. "bed..." the other red eyed Strider frantically walked out of his room towards Bro. "So you're out here shooting up while the boys sleep?!" The now high man nodded and laughed again. "Dave's sick and Dirky won't eat again..he didn't wanna go and i aint gonna make 'im"  D sighed. "i'll make him eat in a little while..now stop making so much noise...I have a headache..." Bro nodded and watched D stumble off to his room. Once he was gone, Derrick stood, grabbing the bottle and needle. He entered the kitchen again and put the bottle back in the drawer. He discarded the needle in the waste basket before making his way to the washroom. He knew he was going to vomit, he could feel the nausea starting to kick in and besides, he almost always did. 

 

This was the second time Dirk woke up to someone hurling in the bathroom. He figured it was Dave again but when he sat up, Dave was still in the same place as before...His bed. He listened to the dry heaves before hearing a few splashes. He made his way out of his room. Bro was nowhere to be found. The sounds continued and that's when Dirk remembered Bro's little habit. He checked the garbage and he was correct. It was Bro hunched over the toilet this time, vomiting up whatever he ate the night before and a whole shit ton of bile. He ran a hand through his hair, dropping the strands out of habit. He went through all the effects that bro would go through within the hour in his head 'a rush; sexual pleasure; warm flushing of the skin; dry mouth; a heavy feeling in the extremities; nausea; vomiting; severe itching; drowsiness for several hours; mental function is clouded; heart function slows; and breathing is also severely slowed...' he sighed. "the nausea and vomiting always hits him first.." he said with yet another sigh. His stomach rumbled, meaning he needed to get something into it. He wasn't sure what at this point but it had to be something. Dirk bit at his thumb nail and contemplated whether coffee or water would suffice for the time being. 'well if i have water, i can drink it down quickly but with coffee i have more because its hot...but Bro said i wasnt allowed to make coffee...' he thought, pulling a cup out of the cabinet. He decided on water, trying to make it out like he ate and already washed and dried his dish. He guzzled down the water, listening to Bro dry heave in the bathroom. The sounds plus the lack off food made him dizzy so he grabbed the counter. He heard Dave shuffle out of the room and flashed scared eyes towards him as everything went black. 

 

"D!!!!!!!" Dave screamed. D came running out as Bro exited the bathroom. Bro's brain was fuzzy and he couldn't perceive anything at the current moment, D, on the other hand, sunk to his knees next to Dave. "H-he hit his head! H-he..he just suddenly passed out...i dont know why!" Dave was crying as he tried to figure out what to do with his hands. "We have to bring him to the hospital..." D lifted his shirt, only to be greated with a protruding rib cage and hip bones. "Now!"   


	2. Long Hospital Stays and Rum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey whats up? its been i few days so i figured I was due to update. This chapter has to do with the hospital trip and D's problem with alcohol. John also comes in this chapter, his own addictions portraying themselves in the Strider bathroom. Its obviously one of the a fore mentioned drugs in the warnings but i don't wanna give to much away. Dave has no idea about John's drug addiction but he does no about his craving to self harm

Dave was pacing around the waiting room. Bro didn't come because of his own issues he was having at home so he was alone. It was still relatively early, the sun just now starting to really peek through the dull darkness. D was talking to a doctor in the back about Dirk's condition and it was painful to Dave to see D put his head down and cry. "He has a condition called Anorexia Nervosa..." The doctor said as he placed a hand on D's shoulder. The doctor sighed and began explaining. "Its an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight. People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with activities in their lives. To prevent weight gain or to continue losing weight, people with anorexia usually severely restrict the amount of food they eat. They may control calorie intake by vomiting after eating or by misusing laxatives, diet aids, diuretics or enemas, They may also exercise excessively to keep weight off," D put his head down. "In Dirk we see issues with his hair and immune system, quite often the hair will begin to fall out from the lack of protein in the patient...this is usually more common in females but it shows up in males sometimes." D sighed, finally spoke up. "what can help this...?" The doctor sighed and pushed up his glasses. "Hospitalization and therapy...if he fears gaining any weight or feels as if its a lifestyle choice then we'll have to put him on medicine, as for right now we'll keep him for a few days before transferring him to our residential mental clinic..." D nodded and looked out at Dave, who was still pacing back and forth. "thank you..." The doctor nodded and D exited to the waiting room. Dave looked up to see his older brother exit. "W-well...where is he...?" D sighs. "I'll explain on the way home little man...lets go..." The younger red eyed Strider nodded, following the older.

 

The ride home had a sadness that just kind of hung over the crimson eyed Striders. Dave sniffled, as he was crying and couldn't stop. His brother wasn't the only one with an eating disorder. he had one as well, however he knew he had one. It was called Bulimia. Similar to Dirk's, Dave constantly worked out and counted his calories. He wouldn't eat out when D took them unless he could order a large water and he would usually throw up after lunch. The thing is, Dave came off as normal to anyone around him. He didn't look sick and he constantly ate so he got away with the disorder easier. The only person who really knew was his best friend, John Egbert. He would watch Dave binge and then guard the bathroom while he purged. Dave felt like John was the only one he could actually trust. "He'll be alright Dave...Don't worry..." Dave nodded at his older brother as he slipped out of the car and ran up to the apartment.

 

Three days had passed and Dirk was still in the hospital. Jake showed up around ten o'clock that night, immediately going to the hospital to visit Dirk. "So they finally found out?" Jake said placing a gentle kiss on Dirk's cheek. Dirk nodded weakly, looking over at the Australian boy. "Y-yeah...i fucking fainted and they figured it out..." He sighed again, watching Dave pace back and forth outside his door, his thumb nail planted firmly between his teeth. "He's been a nervous wreck ever since i got here..." Dirk sighed and glanced over at Jake. Jake looked out the small window on the door. "does he even come in to see you?" He asked, his voice sweet and caring as he kissed Dirk's cheek yet again. The blonde shook his head and sighed as he nuzzled up into the brunette. "nope..he just paces out there whenever D comes...i never see Bro anymore either because he's afraid of hospitals. " Dirk sighed. "I miss my family...this room is lonely and I just wanna go home..." Tears started to form in his eyes. Dave looked in to see Jake glancing out the door at him and Dirk crying. He bit his lip and stepped backwards as he shakily reached for the door handle. The orange eyed Strider looked up at him, watching as he walked straight to his bed and climbed up in the bed with him. Dave cuddled close, giggling as he remembered moments from their childhood. "Remember that one time I had a really bad nightmare so I got in your bed and you held me till I fell asleep again...or that one time we accedentily kissed when you were depressed over your ex-boyfriend..?" Dirk smiled, nuzzling his twin gently as he laughed. "of course I do..."

 

Jake ended up staying with the Strider's to keep Dave company, However...the constant bathroom trips Dave had to take between Jake's masturbation schedule was torture. Dave sighed, waiting for the brunette to come back in the room so he could purge. This odd fear was building up in him, saying he needed to vomit before the calories actually entered his body. He sighed in happiness as Jake came back in. The blonde reached the bathroom, hurling up all of his dinner (which wasn't much, it was just some mac and cheese and a large glass of water.) before walking a bit weakly back into his room. "Hey Dave...can I fuck you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, have a filler chapter...I actually had a lot of distractions while writing this chapter. however, i enjoyed the sudden time hop to the day Jake came. Obviously the next chapter is one of the many NSFW chapters to come and i'm going to apologize right now for that because its kinda really hard to right about rape when you want to write general smut. I also wanna mention that this story is based around addictions that's why EVERY character has a problem or habit that they cant overcome. 
> 
> ****CREDIT TO MAYO CLINIC FOR THE INFORMATION USED BY THE DOCTOR****


	3. Chapter Three: Sex and Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HUGE #TW ON THIS ONE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT. NEW CHAPTER. this is an entire rape scene with slight violence. ITS REALLY SHORT BECAUSE...THE NEXT ONE IS LONGER.

"Hey Dave, can I fuck you?" Jake asked as he slipped his shirt off for the night and sat on Dirk's bed on the other side of the room. "W-wha..? NO! why would you-" in seconds Jake was over Dave, his hand slapping over his mouth. "that wasn't a fucking question Dave...let me restate, I'm going to rape you..." He smiled, his grin ear to ear as he laughed evilly. Dave let out a sound of fear under the stronger teen's hand and his eyes start to water. Jake scoffs gently at his reaction. "Really, you're gonna cry over it? please, you're the reason Dirk's the way he is...he has to compete with  _you_ so he can stay skinny" he spit down in Dave's face after pulling his hand away. "You're disgusting in my eyes..." His eyes narrow as the red eyed Strider lets out a soft sob and calls weakly for either Bro or D. "H-Help!!!! Bro!!!" his screams were weak. he sobbed again as he feels a sharp slap to his cheek. "shut your fucking mouth..." Dave pressed his lips togther and tried to zone out as he was flipped over and pinned harshly to the now to rough sheets. he cried as he felt his boxers slip off his hips and the hand that pressed hard on his back stay in place, even as the garment was completely slipped off of him. His eyes widened a bit as he was sat up and his shirt was pulled off. "h-holy shit..." Jake said as he trailed his hand down Dave's fairly prominent spine. "how are you this skinny..?" He asked biting his lip softly. Dave sobbed softly and was pinned back down quickly. Jake forced his ass into an upwards position. He pushed in a finger dry, receiving pained whimpers from Dave. "does that hurt?" He laughed softly as the blonde whimpered back a weak response. "y-yes.." he sobbed softly and Jake pressed in another before quickly pulling them out. Dave yelped in pain and Jake quickly undressed. 

 

Dave was trembling as he felt Jake press into him way to soon. He didn't use lube, it just wouldn't have felt like torture if he did. He wanted to hurt Dave and the smaller blonde knew that all to well. he cried, feeling all the pain although he felt as if he was watching from afar. He heard Jake moan loudly and felt him start to move at a harsh pace. he sobbed, hearing D collapse on the couch. He knew how many bottles of beer he had to have gone through and by the noises he heard, he was polishing off a bottle of either rum or vodka. All of the blonde's sences were hightened and he was trying to think of anything other than Jake. All of his hope of that was gone when he heard Jake whisper in his ear. "Oh Dirk~~ you're so tight~" He sobbed softly. He meant Dave right...? He had to have made a mistake! "Ah!~ Shit!~ DIIIIRK!!!~~" Nope, he meant Dirk....he actually meant to call Dave by his brother's name. Dave cried harder and gripped the sheets tighter. 

 

Dave was starting to get a headache. They'd been going at this for a good few hours and he felt full. "Fuck~" Jake hadn't stopped using the name change and it just made the entire situation worse for Dave. He wasn't feeling anymore, he was just watching now. tears poured from his eyes and he couldn't speak. although he wasn't enjoying it, he came a few times as a normal bodily reaction. He felt Jake slip out, the first feeling he'd had in 3 hours. ' _finally, this hell is over_ ' Dave thought, whimpering at how Jake pushed him down harshly. "sleep..." The green eyed teen said and Dave complied, falling asleep quickly.

 

Jake didn't feel bad, but something in him hurt. He sighed and laid his head on the shower wall as sudden anger hit him. "I'm gonna fucking beat him so bad...." he growled and cleaned himself up quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh. i've been in the hospital. i had a pretty bad breakdown and i stopped eating for a few weeks, so my room mate brought me to the hospital where they placed me in the psych ward and i FINALLY got out. anyways I'd like to explain my head cannon Jake to you guys! Jake has BPD (borderline personality disorder) i'll get more in depth about that in the next chapter <3  
> ~Jakey


	4. Suffering from BPD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter goes back to before Dirk's anorexia started just to keep this interesting and to give you some more info about Jake. its only a small part in this chapter because i go more in depth with D later on. I hope you enjoy!

NJake _sat on a small bed, his legs pulled up to his chest as he listened to the other people in the mental clinic cry and scream. "im not fucking crazy..." he said to himself and covered his ears, waiting for Dirk to arrive. He honestly hated this place. It was a mental hospital for crazy people and Jake was NOT crazy. He sighed and shiftEd back on his bed, hands still clamped over his ears and knees still to his chest. 'BPD a term used to describe a personlaity disorder comonly found in those who are insecure and reckless....BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder....Symptoms include emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships...' Jake thought to himself as Dirk entered the room, walking over and sitting down next to him. he softly ran a hand along his arm. this is how they sat every day for three hours. nobody talked, they just sat there. Jake would occasionally pull himself close or non verbally make Dirk lay with him. Jake continued thinking glanckng at dirk with sad eyes. 'He's basically mentally unstable for the world right now... He needs a bit of time to get better and then you can take him home...we don't want him to kill himself because of the illness...' Jake bit his lip softly and spoke up. "Am I sick...or dying...because I know I'm not crazy! Dirk please! I wanna go home!!!!" he started to cry and Dirk shooshed him and pulled him close. "You're sick my love....very...very sick...."_

_Two weeks later, Jake was released. He was like a walking zombie, he didnt talk and he was usually unwilling to answer questions or speak when asked. The dtugs they had him on made him like this. He was always tired and fucked up. Dirk sighed, watching him eat...Jake seemed confused so Dirk helped him. He was willing to feed his boyfriend, it was nothing compared to some of the other things he'd do for Jake._

 

_As Jake got better Dirk got worse. Dirk didn't eat and he barely slept. and Jake blamed Dave for way to much. eventually Jake went back to Australia to be with his grandmother, because of this Dirk's health went sprialing downwards even more as he tried to catch up with his perfectly skinny and drop dead sexy twin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your update <3 
> 
> I missed Ao3 alot. I wound up back in the hospital for a few weeks and had to suffer through hours of crap about possibly getting a tube put down my throat, but IM BACK! UuU and I'll (hopefully) be staying longer. Also I'M 19!!!! i had my birthday in the hospital, kinda sucks we didn't get to have it together ;3; this is really short because it's just a very small update. I'll have a longer one up soon for the present.


	6. Hello- THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER

Hello my dears,

The time has come for me to finally explain what the hell happened to me, this story and why I've been gone. The last time I updated, I wasn't intending on quitting the story or the fandom or anything. I had all intentions of writing this story forever. However, I fell out of the fandom and I fell out quicker than I was anticipating. During a small convention I went to as Dirk, my friends and I were heavily harassed. We were the most professional looking Homestuck cosplayers in the joint and honestly I should have expected it. At first it was fine, just fan-girling and polite asking of photos...and then it turned sour. The same people we'd met prior would flip each time they'd run into us and even took pictures without our permission. Now, I wear very strong glasses in order to see properly and I actually can't wear contacts so this made it worse. I was blind that entire day, and being bombarded with people much younger than me who couldn't keep it together because me and my friends went as the alpha kids gets aggravating after a while. What broke the straw for me was the constant photo taking, even when we were trying to eat. As I was also pretty big on vine with the cosplay community, it was sorta worse in a way. Because people were RECOGNIZING me. Yes, I mean full on "OH MY GOD! You're Aziine! I LOVE YOUR VINES! MY SENPAIIIIII!!!! Can I take a photo with you senpai? this is my dream!!! ahhhh!" and so on and so forth. I got called senpai so many times that day and the next that if I had gotten a penny for every time I heard it toward me, I'd be rich and paying off my student loans in literal pennies. I was being touched without consent, photographed without consent and even videotaped without consent. I don't approve of doing these things, to anyone let alone someone these kids looked up to like me. A week later, I announced on my Vine that I was no longer in the fandom because I couldn't take the title 'homestucker' anymore. I didn't want to be associated with people who were rude, immature and downright gross. 

Now I know, just because they were doesn't mean the ENTIRE fandom is. However, I was very clear on my wishes and MANY people I had met before in the fandom were the same exact way. And I didn't want that sort of rep. I was sexually assaulted while dressed up as Jake by a Dirk a few years prior to the indecent and at the same time that had happened, I had about 10 or more people dressed up as Dave (who also recognized me in a panel and from instagram/vine) who attacked me in my Dirk costume. All because they wanted to make out with me. I couldn't take it anymore. I began to focus on Supernatural and I've been building my following up again using SPN, Riverdale, IT and certain musicals. It's not going as smooth as Homestuck did and obviously vine is dead so thats not a platform I can use but I am trying. I'm also going through college and trying to get my health back on track which is the leading issue for me not posting anything. I am so sorry for everyone who wanted updates to this story, but i hope you understand that I couldn't do that and that I would never put myself through it again. Yes, I read the final update thingy way back when. No, I don't give two fucks about Hivebent. No, I will not come back to the fandom. and No, I probably will not finish or update this story. 

Sorry again,  
Aziine

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE NEVER DONE MORE RESEARCH ON DRUGS TIL THIS FUCKING STORY OMG. I literally read up on Heroin for like 3 hours just to figure out EVERYTHING portrayed in this chapter. No but i feel like this is short so during the next chapter I'll kinda make up for it. Keep in mind, Dirk suffered for 8 years and its only been 4 at this point. so Dave's his natural skinny self with a bit of help from the bulimia because he's only been going through it for 4 years. It's only year one for him. BTW Dirk's weight will be revealed in the next chapter but i wanna mention that at this moment in time Dave is currently somewhere around 100-110 lbs. (45.4-49.9 kg) he drops down to somewhere around 69-70 lbs (31.3-37.8 kg) towards the chapters during what would be the present. 
> 
> Did you enjoy?? If so, leave a comment or a kudos! Make sure to subscribe to see updates!! 
> 
> ~Jake


End file.
